This week has got worse and worse, my fibromyalgia has been playing up and even my toes hurt! No baths either as plumbing a bit dodgy. I have spent a lot of time reading though, I found some websites about general bdsm, 101 type things as well as reading more topics on fetlife.
Well it seems I am more open to things than I originaly thought, some things I have previously thought no way, I am thinking I would like to try once. I like to try things, sometimes I am a wimp but when confronted with something difficult I hate the feelings after if I haven't tried something more than if I fail at it.
I think this is a good thing, as once I start I need somewhere to go, to grow, if I have only a certain amount of things I am willing to do then it is rather like putting a box around myself. I would like to have concentric circles, green on the inside - things I like and are willing to do, yellow next - thing I am willing to try but am not sure about, orange next - things I am doubtful about but with the right person might be willing to try once, and then red - things I will not do.
Reading around this seems to be the right thing to do.
My birthday is coming up soon and I am hoping that I feel well enough that I can meet up with some friends. Very wierd to thing I am entering my last year as a teenager, next time I have a birthday I will be 20, that always seemed so old when I was younger, mind you so did 18!
Have had three offers so far for mentorship but have declined all of them, something niggled, or looking at their profiles and posts I just didn't think we clicked. Trying to be very sensible and think I have been so far. It has been especially great to find out there is a group about Fibromyalgia and kink, several in fact and one about ME. Talk about having everything! It has been reasurring to see how people manage to have an active lifestyle while still suffering with various illnesses.
I am feeling more positive about finding someone who I like and is comfortable taking on someone with quite a few difficulties. I am not looking but not feeling, who would want me anymore.
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I think there's nothing wrong to being open to trying most things once. I've always been of the mind as long as it's not a hard limit and my partner want's to try it I'll give it a shot. I think sometimes people miss out on new experiences because they're to afraid to try them. For all they know it could be one of the best things they've ever done.
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon.
~Jessica~ XXOO
Hi there! Just wanted to say hello and to say that I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling so hot! :( But, on a lighter note, I'd love to congratulate you for being so sensible about your mentorship. If something doesn't feel right to you, then it will never be right - we're given instincts for a reason!
ReplyDeleteTake care and feel better soon!
Baby Girl :)
Finally had a bath today so feeling a little better thank you!
ReplyDeleteGood to hear you're feeling better and good idea to feel senisble and do what feels rightin your gut.
ReplyDeleteFD