I had an appointment again yesterday and although I didn't like the actual thing, I really tried to be jolly and happy with the guy, though it is a bit difficult. However today I feel pretty good, I got up, a bit later than normal I admit but you can't have everything! I also managed to go bicycling! Not that far but beyond the drive and out onto the road. It was such a thrill do be able to do it when I was really expecting to be in bed all day today.
I haven't done much, I have been doing a latch-hook rug which is really relaxing, in front of several episodes of Law & Order SVU and UK. I had a stack to watch since I recorded them when I went away. Tonight I am hopefully going out for an early supper with my parents and older sister so off to have a rest after this. But I feel all spaced out and just really calm, I was on such a high after Saturday. I don't get to do something like that very often (go out I mean, not attend a munch!) and I was get so excited just remembering it and the fact I had fun. I tend to have to live off those memories for months sometimes so I try and get as much out of them as possible.
Anyway so I was on high from Saturday all Sunday and then Monday I was nervous about the treament and then rather emotional and tired afterwards. Today just everything seems to waft over me, all sort of happy floating. Very nice feeling, I am compus mentus, not totaly functing on top form mentally and physically but up and about. As I said floating! lol I sound like I am on drugs - I promise I'm not!
Tuesday 14 September 2010
Saturday 11 September 2010
My First Munch
Yesterday I went to my first Munch. I had heard about it on Fetlife as one of my friends there was organising it. It was an Under35's event in Oxford and although I looked at it I originally didn't even think about going. It was in Oxford and I was going to Oxford shopping once and I didn't think I could cope with twice let alone be allowed to.
Anyway after I got back from a successful afternoons shopping in which I had met up with a few friends from college, I suddenly heard myself telling Mummy that there was an opportunity to meet up with some people on Saturday and was it possible!! Even more unexpected was the fact she said yes! Having arranged plans to get me too and from the bus stop even though everyone seemed to be out or away I then realised actually what I had done.
I had agreed to go to a Munch.
I went back and properly read about it but didn't put whether I was going or not as I though it might jinx it! Anyway I ended up going, and it was really good fun. Although it was nerve wracking and as I didn't have my glasses on I had a bit of difficulty making out the troll that was proclaiming to one and all that these were the people that I was here to meet.
Immediately the problem of how to go over there, did I sidle over and enquire as to whether this was the Munch or did I walk straight on over and introduce myself? Having got a drink I did the latter, extremely brave of me and I was quaking on the inside, it was a bit awkward but maybe that was just me. After that though it was brilliant.
It was so good to actually meet some kinky people. They are normal! (I don't mean that in a bad way) I don't quite know why that surprised me but I also found I was relieved that actually people did do this stuff, it is all very well reading about it but you sometimes do slightly wonder whether it really does actually happen. And yet here were people talking about parties, clubs, Munch's etc. It was fascinating.
I actually met people who were kinky! Ok, I apologise for repeating myself, I still haven't quite got over it yet. Mind you I think I have met someone who is before as in my local tack shop there was a really nice pair of leather handcuffs - too big for me (I tried!), so someone must buy them or at least the person who makes them who I know might be into something.
I stayed for over three hours, I had only planned to stay for maximum two and had an escape plan if it was boring, or just plain scary, or just not my thing. But it went whizzing past, in the end though I did have a bus to catch and I was getting tired but I really hope that I can make it to the next one.
It was a really fascinating and great experience and one I would like to repeat. Good to hear other peoples stories, experiences and opinions and I can't quite believe that I had real conversation about porn in a pub at five o'clock in the afternoon (Don't quite know why time should matter but it was quite odd (a nice odd!) now I think back on it). It was good to do something physical about my interests in kink, it made it more real and this I think was a good thing.
So, my first Munch! Such fun and to be repeated hopefully!
Anyway after I got back from a successful afternoons shopping in which I had met up with a few friends from college, I suddenly heard myself telling Mummy that there was an opportunity to meet up with some people on Saturday and was it possible!! Even more unexpected was the fact she said yes! Having arranged plans to get me too and from the bus stop even though everyone seemed to be out or away I then realised actually what I had done.
I had agreed to go to a Munch.
I went back and properly read about it but didn't put whether I was going or not as I though it might jinx it! Anyway I ended up going, and it was really good fun. Although it was nerve wracking and as I didn't have my glasses on I had a bit of difficulty making out the troll that was proclaiming to one and all that these were the people that I was here to meet.
Immediately the problem of how to go over there, did I sidle over and enquire as to whether this was the Munch or did I walk straight on over and introduce myself? Having got a drink I did the latter, extremely brave of me and I was quaking on the inside, it was a bit awkward but maybe that was just me. After that though it was brilliant.
It was so good to actually meet some kinky people. They are normal! (I don't mean that in a bad way) I don't quite know why that surprised me but I also found I was relieved that actually people did do this stuff, it is all very well reading about it but you sometimes do slightly wonder whether it really does actually happen. And yet here were people talking about parties, clubs, Munch's etc. It was fascinating.
I actually met people who were kinky! Ok, I apologise for repeating myself, I still haven't quite got over it yet. Mind you I think I have met someone who is before as in my local tack shop there was a really nice pair of leather handcuffs - too big for me (I tried!), so someone must buy them or at least the person who makes them who I know might be into something.
I stayed for over three hours, I had only planned to stay for maximum two and had an escape plan if it was boring, or just plain scary, or just not my thing. But it went whizzing past, in the end though I did have a bus to catch and I was getting tired but I really hope that I can make it to the next one.
It was a really fascinating and great experience and one I would like to repeat. Good to hear other peoples stories, experiences and opinions and I can't quite believe that I had real conversation about porn in a pub at five o'clock in the afternoon (Don't quite know why time should matter but it was quite odd (a nice odd!) now I think back on it). It was good to do something physical about my interests in kink, it made it more real and this I think was a good thing.
So, my first Munch! Such fun and to be repeated hopefully!
An interesting two months
Two whole months have gone past since I made my last post. The Perrin Technique must be doing something because it wiped out July and August for me. I have done absolutly nothing until the last two weeks. I have felt completly out of it and not really connected to anything, in fact I can't quite believe so much time has gone by.
The appointments have not got easier, I still don't like them and they do make me really quite emotional afterwards but I can cope with them. I have had only a few as he was away and then I was just recently but most of the time I have been in bed or been watching television. In fact I have got quite sick of it and was bored silly.
It didn't help that I had a complete hissy fit when Mummy decided I had been ill for quite long enough and decided the only way I was going to get better, for some reason, was to drag me out of bed physically. She does this everytime I am ill for a certain number of weeks and it has nver worked and just make both of us extremly upset. This time I refused to take any pills and only took them once she promised not to do it again, I said that if she did I would stop all treatment. At the time it was perfectly logical - she is the one who want me to do this Technique and take the pills but of course now I see it is cutting off my nose to spite my face. Although I don't like it, it should help and that is the main thing.
Anyway that blow up caused a bit of egg shell walking for a bit as we both said things we shouldn't have but we recovered, and have four weeks later started saying 'I love you' to each other again. For some reason it is always the last thing to come back.
After that Perrin guy went easy on me for two sessions and I started to feel better, this was so I could manage to go to France. I did manage and flew most of the week. I felt really well, I swam twice everyday, we went to a market everyday and played ping pong and cards until quite late at night. I also had a rest every day but I didn't sleep well due to a creaky radiator and a different mattress but that didn't seem to affect me. This week has been amazing.
Since we have got back I have got up early and bycicled, then run and walked up and down my drive with our hound puppy before breakfast. I have also managed to go into Oxford twice, get to the library, sort out a projection for an auction, tidy my shed and room and drive, once a lesson and the rest with Mummy. This has been the best week this year.
Unfortunately I do have to go on Monday and have an appointment, but it will be interesting see my reaction to it, hopefully I will recover after half a week so I get a few days.
The only thing is I don't know whether the reaction is because of the treatment or the fact that he went easy for two weeks then I had two weeks off plus a holiday which always helps!
The appointments have not got easier, I still don't like them and they do make me really quite emotional afterwards but I can cope with them. I have had only a few as he was away and then I was just recently but most of the time I have been in bed or been watching television. In fact I have got quite sick of it and was bored silly.
It didn't help that I had a complete hissy fit when Mummy decided I had been ill for quite long enough and decided the only way I was going to get better, for some reason, was to drag me out of bed physically. She does this everytime I am ill for a certain number of weeks and it has nver worked and just make both of us extremly upset. This time I refused to take any pills and only took them once she promised not to do it again, I said that if she did I would stop all treatment. At the time it was perfectly logical - she is the one who want me to do this Technique and take the pills but of course now I see it is cutting off my nose to spite my face. Although I don't like it, it should help and that is the main thing.
Anyway that blow up caused a bit of egg shell walking for a bit as we both said things we shouldn't have but we recovered, and have four weeks later started saying 'I love you' to each other again. For some reason it is always the last thing to come back.
After that Perrin guy went easy on me for two sessions and I started to feel better, this was so I could manage to go to France. I did manage and flew most of the week. I felt really well, I swam twice everyday, we went to a market everyday and played ping pong and cards until quite late at night. I also had a rest every day but I didn't sleep well due to a creaky radiator and a different mattress but that didn't seem to affect me. This week has been amazing.
Since we have got back I have got up early and bycicled, then run and walked up and down my drive with our hound puppy before breakfast. I have also managed to go into Oxford twice, get to the library, sort out a projection for an auction, tidy my shed and room and drive, once a lesson and the rest with Mummy. This has been the best week this year.
Unfortunately I do have to go on Monday and have an appointment, but it will be interesting see my reaction to it, hopefully I will recover after half a week so I get a few days.
The only thing is I don't know whether the reaction is because of the treatment or the fact that he went easy for two weeks then I had two weeks off plus a holiday which always helps!
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