A New Life

Wow, today I got a text out of the blue from someone who had read my blog. I had almost completely forgotten about it and the comment was lovely so twice the bonus.
A lot has changed since the last time I wrote.

I didn't get the courage to speak to Mummy about moving out until March and a lot of talking with my father and counsellor as to how to go about it. It must have payed off as she said yes!

Things didn't go smoothly and there was a lot of stress in the house - my parents relationship is slowly falling apart which meant huge arguments then, now they are just not talking.
So nothing much happened and then they went to visit my younger sister on her GAP year for two weeks and I was left at home with only a girl a year younger than me who is very quiet. It was bliss and I thrived on it, in fact Mummy got annoyed the change was so good! That was middle of May and after that she could no longer delay or deney the fact that living at home with the family was not doing me any good.

A week later and we saw a flat and put an offer in.
Two week later and I was renting a flat.
Five/six weeks ago I moved in!

There was such a change, being in control, in a small place with no stairs means that I have a lot more energy. It means I don't have any noise (apart from usual town noise but it is a very quiet area) and I can have the light off to help my eyes. I only see Mummy a couple of times a week and my physio comes here and I am within walking distance of my counsellor.

It has been a huge boost in self confidence, self worth, self belief and energy. I get to do my own cooking, cleaning, ironing and running of my life. Added to that I have now got into building and designing websites with one 32 page website under my belt which I am now managing and building two more - it is building!
My relationship with my mother has improved, I now have things to tell her and it is now a little more equal, we have things in common now.

It isn't all great, my health is not great, I do have more energy but getting crippling headaches, nosebleeds and my gut isn't working well at all (this is more irritating than everything as it means despite eating healthily I am gaining weight - how annoying!!) but I am able to take each day as it comes and judge it as to how I feel and not live it as a show for someone else.

I was able to go to a 21st party, I am back feeling sociable and I really hope to get back into going to the munch but that requires a walk, a 50 min bus journey, another walk, then the munch and then all that back again which at the moment is a little too much!

Having done months of seeing the counsellor twice a week she is now on holiday for four weeks and after that I am going down to once a week again and I feel much more able to stand my ground whatever comes my way.

So in conclusion, live is good for what it is, I am in control as much as I can be and I have a brand new chance for a life and it is now up to me to make of it what I will.

Who knows what will happen!