A couple of weeks ago I had a crisis of confidence, I wondered just what the hell I was doing. I sent someone a message
'I was having a bit of think last night and got really rather confused. Especially after having read some posts on here and just generally. I was wondering if I had got ahead of myself here - trying to run when I haven't walked yet. I mean I am a virgin so how on earth can I say I am into kinky stuff when I don't even know the vanilla. Some women have rape fantasies, it is something that turns them on but when it comes down to it and they act it out they don't like it. Maybe when it come down to it I am not actually kinky in which case I'm a fraud being on here and at the Munch's. I mean I haven't even ever kissed anyone and yet I have stood up and said that I am interested in the kinkier side of things. How do I really know, if I haven't had sex how can I really claim that I want to try rough sex when in reality I have no idea what occurs emotionally etc just in nilla sex.
The poor guy! lol But I had been thinking and driven myself into confusion by over thinking and getting totally mixed up. He sent back a very good reply which I won't post here as I don't have his permission but basically he told me that it was more the fact that I was interested in kinky sexuality not the amount of experience I had. That Munch's were the meeting of like minded people not the meeting of people who do the same stuff.
It was extremely helpful along with the other point he came up with and although I felt a little embarrassed having panicked like that I was also at the same time almost glad that I had actually come out and asked someone about it. I do have a point, at a time when I am not in a position to have a relationship of any sorts and not particularly inclined to have one either meeting people all with sex as a common interest might seem a bit odd. But then I realised that for me the Munch's are not a pick up joint, they are to meet and hopefully make friends with other open minded people and also hopefully learn more. So far this has worked and when I am there I don't feel a fraud and I hope I never will.
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I think what he told you makes perfect sense. I believe I was kinky before acting on it. Once I discovered BDSM & D/s I could have cared less about being vanilla. I wanted to research it and experience everything I could. I was young (16) when it happened, but I grew to love it. I'm sure you'll find someone to share this with eventually and it will be an amazing feeling for you.
ReplyDelete~Jess XXOO~
Even if you do feel you want to be found on the really kinky side of things don't start out there. By all means move there as soon as but there is a world of difference between "that was nice, let's do more" and what can happen, (especially to women) when they are rushed into a more extreme situation than they are ready for. When kink works it depends on the participants being prepared, once your body knows and can anticipate something then you can go farther and push boundaries. Enjoy, savor, each step along the way including your current window shopping phase, it's all such fun and when it's done right very intensely pleasurable.
ReplyDeleteR. x